My Writing Process: From Stray Thought to Full Out Geekery

"I hope people can have fun with what I write but also learn something useful for their lives."

I recently go a shout out from the marvelous Marci Walton to write about my writing. It's meta and I dig it so I figured I'd jump on here and leave some thoughts from my work here for the past year and a half of writing.

I have only been writing weekly since January of this year with my geek out posts and movie reviews, with other stuff sprinkled in between, but 2014 has been a good year for me to get in a regular habit of writing. I've written around 160 posts for this blog, covering all sorts of geeky topics that matter to me. I hope the framework of stuff below helps others get into a flow of writing however they wish about whatever they want.

On My Writing Process 

What are you working on? 

I'm currently working on a few different blog posts about stuff that has been popping up in my head recently just as stray thoughts or from reading books, articles, and keeping up with the news. I'm also working on reading more books to review and keeping my regular schedule of movie reviews from Netflix and geeking out about new, cool stuff. Keep an eye out for some awesome posts coming soon!

How does your work differ from others of its genre? 

I feel my work is pretty unique since I always try to find connections to student affairs in geeky topics, such as Star Wars, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Spider-Man, and Green Lantern. I don't see a lot of that out there in the blogging world and I enjoy being something original and unique. I think we should all seek to do our own thing and not just create an echo chamber for the usual zeitgeist.

Why do you write what you do?

I write what I do because it is what interests me and it is how my brain works a lot of the time. I always joke that I take my entertainment seriously. I look into their subtexts or symbolism to see what they have to say about society or greater topics like choice, love, friendship, family, or any number of other things. I hope people can have fun with what I write but also learn something useful for their lives. I seek to provide value and happiness to my readers!

How does your writing process work? 

I usually just let my mind wander and allow for ideas to pop in. Whether that is something about one particular show or movie or is about a general topic, I usually make sure to draft up a blog post for it so I don't lose the idea. A lot of the time I'll be watching or reading something and find something relevant in it, like with Green Lantern. For something like Star Wars, I was surprised I hadn't blogged about it specifically already. I also just think a lot about topics like positivity, social media, sustainability, or nerdy stuff in general so ideas will come to me all the time. I typically will bounce ideas off my partner to see if they make sense or not instead of always just having them rattle around in my head all the time. I don't have a formal, structured, or detailed process for getting the content together. I just let the writing flow out and then I'll proof myself afterwards. This works well for me but I know it might not work well for everyone! I'm also a very brief writer so I don't feel the need to prepare too much for posts since they're just quick bits and thoughts I want to share.

Thanks again to Marci for sharing her process and for the shout out! I nominate Tom Krieglstein & Jennifer Keegin. Why do you write what you do?!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Human Side of Social Media

"Anytime there is a tweet, post, picture, or any sort of content on social media...there is a human being behind that."

After recently reading some interesting perspectives on the popular app Yik Yak from folks like Eric Stoller and Paul Gordon Brown, I recently had some thoughts of my own on the subject in a macro sense.

Anonymity on the web is a topic for serious discussion and there have been a lot of concerns lately about privacy and protecting our information, which are definitely completely valid. I personally typically fall on the side of being open and authentic online. In general though, especially when it comes to the civil discourse of important topics while on social media, I feel being ourselves is always valuable and necessary.

Whether it is the use of a screen name on YouTube or cyberbullying incidents that have become more common on campuses across the country, there is a basic tenant of being ourselves in the various social networks we inhabit. Much of the vitriol and negativity online comes when there is no accountability to the person saying it. The types of things we say to each other on the web would never be uttered in public. The protective shroud of anonymity allows for hateful things to come out of us, which I would attribute to being emotional knee jerk responses rather than how we all know we should treat each other.

A public, personal web is one where people can be accountable to what they say, and represent what is truly behind their words; a human being. We often forget that anytime there is a tweet, post, picture, or any sort of content on social media, there is a human being behind that. Someone took the time to type something out and send it, no matter what you might think. We should engage with empathy, as we would in any other venue.

I look forward to a more civil, respectful web where we are able to authentically connect about the issues and topics that matter to us. How we get there is through being mindful of the other people out there with us, and through digital literacy. As a student affairs professional, everyday I help people understand the power of their actions on others, we should be doing the same for the digital realm. I fully support programs, workshops, and tools to help students (and anyone really) learn how to best behave online. I believe the type of negativity I see on Yik Yak and elsewhere is not us. I am optimistic in people's true natures and have seen the type of positive outcomes that can come from online communities. We can and will do better in our online interactions in the future, we just have to work to make that a reality sooner rather than later.

I appreciate your thoughts on this...and as always, thanks for stopping by.

Star Wars & Always Seeing the Good in People

"No. You're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you."

"You already... have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister... you were right."

I have surprisingly not blogged a lot about Star Wars yet, even though it is one of my major fandoms. I've loved it for a long time now and I am cautiously optimistic about Episode VII that is due to come out next year.

A major arc of the Star Wars films is Anakin's journey toward the dark side and coming back to the light in the end to save the day and rescue his son, Luke, from the Emperor. Luke, after discovering that Darth Vader is actually his father, Anakin, can't bring himself to simply kill his father for the good of the galaxy. He knows Anakin is a good person who did bad things, not just simply an evil person who must die without any chance for redemption. Others see Luke as foolish for believing he can save his father, who others see as too far gone. Luke commits to his stance to save his father AND the galaxy, not willing to give up simply from the pressure of others. In the end, he is able to accomplish his goal and give Anakin a brief moment in the light before he dies from his injuries inflicted from his rescue of Luke.

If you've seen Return of the Jedi, you know the whole sequence I'm talking about and if you've seen the whole saga of films, you know Anakin's arc from the six films. While there is a lot of valid gripes folks have with the two trilogies (myself included), the thing I love about the story is Anakin's character arc, going from a wide-eyed kid on Tatooine, to Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars to a broken man (literally and figuratively) and back to his good natured self that has always been there deep inside.

A major takeaway here that I really appreciate is not giving up on people. People make bad choices, we all do, but that doesn't mean they're bad people. People make choices based on their past, what they're feeling now, and what they want for the future. All of this is subject to flux based on who they surround themselves with, their environments, and who may not be around them to help them make positive choices. I'm a empathetic person, and I always see things from others' perspectives. It can be a gift and a curse, but I would never want to not feel anything for others when they're suffering, confused, lost, or misunderstood. Working in student affairs, and especially in residence life, I see this a lot. I can't ever assume everyone is hiding something, has ulterior motives, or is doing this to hurt me personally. I prefer to stay positive, give people chances, and trust people until they give me a reason not to.

This lesson from Star Wars is a big one, I feel, in my ongoing effort to reach zen status (or perhaps Jedi Mastery?!). I don't ever want to be someone who is just mad at the world and thinks everyone is evil, selfish, and immoral. I think when people are given the opportunity to do what's right, they'll do it. We just have to trust each other, love unconditionally, and put good energy out into the universe. Maybe then we'll be able to work together to build a more decent, good, and just galaxy here and far, far away.

Thanks for stopping by!

Some Brief Life Updates!

Hey there, everybody!

It's been a little over two months since I got up here to Maine for my new full-time position so I thought since I have a bit of down time after training and opening, I'd share some thoughts and feelings from the experience so far.

My first month here was pretty hard for me personally. I wrote previously about some of the professional struggles I had, and they only compounded some of the feelings of loneliness and adjustment struggles to being in a new, very different area from where I was before. It was a bit of a culture shock not really knowing what to expect going from central New Jersey to central Maine. I've never lived in Maine so the rural aspect to the area was a bit jarring at first. I should have known what I was in for from my visits throughout my life but alas, it nevertheless was a bit of a rocky landing. Thankfully, after the first few weeks of finding my way around and figuring out my own rhythm in this strange land, I began to feel better. The people were welcoming, the cool local places were a lot of fun and I got to see a whole other side to my home state I've never seen before.

So, as month two began, I was in much of a flow than I was before. I had some routine and a supportive community of friends and colleagues beginning to develop. Then training and opening happened. It was rough for me as it always is. It was especially tough since I am new to this institution and put a lot of pressure on myself to know all the answers and be able to do everything for my students but I couldn't. There are many other frustrations I've had over the entire two months but that my be a post for another time.

I look forward to the beginning of a new academic year that is full of learning experiences for me. I'm in a state I've never lived in before, at a small private university (unlike the two, large, public universities I came from before), working with new people in an albeit familiar way but in a totally different context. It is rough at times but I know I'll be a better professional at the end of it all.

I never want to just play it safe any more, I've had plenty of that. I look forward to more adventures this year and beyond as I look to grow and learn as a person and a professional. I'm ready to get out into the world and make a difference for my students this year.

I'll keep blogging periodically as cool things happen and I have something to say, so stay tuned!

Thanks for stopping by!

What I'm Geeking Out About This Week - 08/15/14

Greetings!

Welcome to another week of geek outs! This week is filled with new apps that I've been checking out recently and thought I'd share with you all. Enjoy!

• Boomerang for Gmail

I've known about this neat add-on for a little while now but I just installed it ahead of the start of the academic year. I am very excited at the possibility it promises to help manage email outreach. Its simple premise is that you can schedule automatic followups if the message you sent was unread for a certain amount of days. It also allows for you to schedule out emails to go out at a later date/time. I see this being pretty useful with messages to my residence hall community about pertinent information. I also see the followup feature being very helpful keeping on top of correspondence with students, following up if they aren't responding in a given time. The add-on is free and is simple to use so I definitely recommend it!

• Up Next

I just got started using this app since I got it for free from Starbucks the other day since they give out cool free apps, music, books, etc. every once in a while. It is a neat to-do list app that has a neat interface and helps you do what you need to do when you need to do it. Think of it as a little personal assistant that will remind you about stuff. I haven't used it too much yet but I'm eager to see the possibilities as I get rolling with all the stuff I'm sure this first year of full-time work will entail.

• Sunrise

For a while now I've been looking for one, end all calendar solution that brings all of my disparate calendars together automatically. Sunrise does just this. It links with any and all of your Google Calendars, your Apple iCal events, Facebook events, and Outlook. It has a great interface, updates seamlessly, and they have apps for Mac, iPhone, iPad, and Google devices. It's an amazing, free app to get all of your appointments, meetings, and plans together in one place. I love it already after just about a week of use so you should definitely check it out. You'll be glad you did.

That's it for this week. Check back next Friday for more geek outs!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Language of Love & Leadership

I recently took this quiz at the behest of my partner. It seeks to show you, based on a series of questions, how you prefer to receive love. This can be used for romantic and platonic relationships alike and I have heard about it from both friends and work colleagues so I felt it was about time to check it out. Similar to a previous post of mine on leadership inventories like MBTI and StrengthsQuest, I found relevant connections to student affairs and leadership with this survey. Figuring out one's "love language" allows for an unique insight into how we prefer to receive praise, how we make connections with other people, and how we would prefer to achieve that precarious work/life balance, harmony, etc.

There are five love languages that you get varying point scores for (much like True Colors). The languages are physical touch, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation. After taking the survey, I found my top languages to be quality time and words of affirmation. I found this to be highly accurate for myself. I really appreciate, in all my relationships, the opportunity to spend time with the people who are important to me even if that is just hanging out. I also very much appreciate when people tell me how they feel and even more so how I make them feel. I never really ask for the words of affirmation from people but I enjoy it when I get them.

Taking this survey allowed for me to objectively see what I need to feel loved, appreciated, and valued, at work and in life. Just like the other leadership inventories, it allows for a common language of leadership that can create better teams that are heard, understood, and given what they need to succeed.

Check the quick Love Languages survey here and make sure to have coworkers and partners take it too. It's really helpful!

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Updates from the New Job!

Hey there friends,

I just wrote a post for The Student Affairs Collective about my first few weeks at my new job. Check it out for some formal thoughts and learning that has gone on since I got here.

Thanks for stopping by and have an awesome day!

What I Learned From A Night Out & A List Of Great Questions

I had an awesome night out recently...

I went out with a group of my coworkers who I knew to varying extents in my as of that moment, short stint working with them at my new job. Our plans for the night had hit a wall so we all decided to just hang out at a local draft house to chat and relax after a long week. When there was a natural lull in the conversation, I noted how I love great questions and have collected a list over time. This peaked my colleagues' interest and I started rattling off some of the questions to the group. After a few questions (and maybe a few drinks) we were sharing stories and experiences from our lives and bonding over the deep dialogue we were having.

I learned some profound things from evening that I feel like can be helpful to others, especially my colleagues out in the wide world of student affairs. I learned the importance of people feeling safe, the value in self-disclosure, and the power of great questions.

Throughout the course of the evening, I made sure to really listen to the people in my group. They were sharing very personal anecdotes at times so I wanted to really hear them and appreciate their bravery being vulnerable with the group. We all got meta at times where we felt like I was being a group therapist but many of the skills I learned in my counseling courses during graduate school are just great tips for life when listening to people and encourage genuine emotional connections. No one would have been into my gauntlet of questions for us all to get know each other better if they hadn't felt safe in the group. Everyone bought in and helped create a safe environment, even in a public place like a bar, which was an important foundation to build off of for the entirety of the discussion.

Being an unofficial leader of the discussion as the keeper of the questions, I had an important role in the discourse. While people felt safe through my active listening and appreciation of their vulnerability, taking it all one step further was my own self-disclosure. I didn't fancy myself better than anyone else there and would often give my own answers first, if not second. I have a strong feeling the steam of the conversation would run out pretty quick if I was never sharing anything about myself

Lastly, the engine of this fascinating chat I had was my questions. I felt out the vibes of the group and kept my questions to more positive ones that asked about interesting concepts like what would be your desired superpower, your personal motto, the best vacation you ever had, and what profession you'd like to attempt other than your own. People shared as much or as little as they wanted and weren't made to share anything too vitriolic. The questions were some of my own creation, submissions from others, and some from the famous list used on Inside the Actor's Studio. Great questions get people thinking and sharing beyond topics relegated for "small talk". My all-time favorite question was the inspiration for one of my favorite blog posts, and simply asks "what do you geek out about?". I've gotten a wide array of answers to this question and it never fails to get a great conversation going since people are talking about what they love.

I always like to gleam grandiose life lessons from even the most mundane things. This night is a simple example of how personal conversations can create deep connections and allow for great positive change. People learned new things about people they thought they knew and appreciated each other not only for sharing, but for the new things they learned about one another. I hope for more fun nights like this in the future and I hope you can have some of your own too.

If you have any awesome questions you'd like to submit, leave a comment or tweet at me.

Thanks for stopping by!

This Kickstarter is Going to End Workplace Apathy

So I'm really excited about this.

I know Kevin O'Connell from some awesome chance encounters from my time at Rutgers and I've followed the growth of his project, The Niche Movement for a while now. I love how he is constantly working to help people find their niche and give them the gift of immense happiness and fulfillment in their lives.

The path to satisfaction in work has changed dramatically in recent years and there needs to be a new handbook for this generation of job seekers. Kevin is hoping to do just that with his latest effort with The Niche Movement.

Kevin is crowdfunding the development of a new book based on the ideals put forth by The Niche Movement in hopes of reaching an even wider audience with his inspiring message. I know personally that Kevin is extremely passionate about this and will help out so many more people with this book getting out into the world.

Having all of us feeling more fulfilled, driven by our innate passions, purpose, and beliefs will change everything for the better. Help support make this vision a reality.

Check out the full, formal press release below and make sure to check out The Niche Movement and support Kevin's Kickstarter today. Every little bit helps.

July 14, 2014 - Kevin O’Connell, founder of The Niche Movement, today announced the launch of a new crowdfunding campaign focused on his new book, The Niche Movement: New Rules for Finding a Career You Love. The book aims to debunk common ideologies surrounding the job search, entry level employment and employment unhappiness by offering true, inspirational stories along with research and advice from experts and influencers from around the world who chose not to take the conventional approach to career exploration.

The last eight years working with college students and young professionals proved to O’Connell that most academia and student affairs practices are not teaching students to take risks in their twenties. With his entrepreneurial, educational, and marketing backgrounds, he’s taking his passion to a whole new level with The Niche Movement: New Career Rules for Finding a Career You Love.

The book will amplify a message that needs to be told: a job worth loving exists, you just have to find it. “It’s 2014,” O’Connell said. “This generation need to be told this.” The book, which will include stories of others who have found their niche, will serve as a platform to empower young adults to take risks that will lead them to finding their niche. It will teach the new rules for finding a career path worth loving.

“I eat, sleep and breathe college student’s lives,” he says. “I’ve been in the trenches where I have seem them thrive and a year later frustrated in their “post-graduate life.” I’ve seen the bad advice not work.”

According to Kevin, significant opportunities for change are constantly being overlooked.

With his new book, he hopes to open the eyes of college students, recent grads and other young professionals and help them harness the professional and personal experiences they’ve had, the experiences they’re living, the experiences they’re going to have and continue to ask themselves: why am I doing this? How can I get back to what motivates me?

The Niche Movement: New Rules for Finding a Career Path You Love can help change the way we view employment. It will rewrite the way we approach career development for good.

The job searching process is a very lonely one; one that instills a sense of frustration, stress and even self-doubt. O’Connell’s stories will provide a support system, a personal guide and our society should want that for young adults. “I’m not a job board. I’m not a recruiter,” O’Connell said. “I’m trying to help connect the dots for young professionals and find their way.”

A successful campaign shedding light on this unconventional career advice would create a platform to scale the larger project: end unemployment happiness for young professionals and twenty-somethings. Starting Fall 2014, The Niche Movement will be hosting monthly, inexpensive career events for people who want the information in addition, to the workshop and keynotes, and online programs they already offer.  

Kevin’s dream is to create a pipeline between really great companies with really great jobs with really great students because, “right now, they are both missing each other.” He hopes his stories will go well beyond the idealistic commencement speeches and give real world solutions for this generation to find the work they love.

Kevin O’Connell is a student affairs professional who has done everything from service learning to student leadership to social media strategy. He is a driven, enthusiastic up and coming entrepreneur whose passion for young leaders drove him to create a movement. Kevin is a true believer in authenticity who values honesty, trust and execution. He lives in New Jersey with his wife, Courtney O’Connell, and their black lab, Luke. For more information on Kevin and The Niche Movement, visit thenichemovement.com.

Thanks for stopping by!

On Being a History Major in Student Affairs

Reflecting back to my recent interviews, I found myself conceptualizing myself as being someone who, due in large part to my history major at the University of Delaware, needs to have some context to things to be able to fully understand and appreciate them. It could be current events and their historical precedence, or it could be an initiative from a supervisor and wanting some further explanation behind why we are doing something besides "because I said so" or "because that's how we've always done it". I need something more than that. What I need to hear contextually as a proud history major working in student affairs is a logical context preceding our actions. I need to hear that a new effort is backed up by theory, data, or exceptional practices from colleagues and fellow higher education institutions. We should never be making decisions, in student affairs or otherwise, on whims or emotions or simply personal anecdotes. We need to pull from more credible bases.

A history professor I had in college once told me that the study of our past is captured well by the metaphor of "a turtle on a fencepost". This means to say that the turtle could not have possibly gotten up on that fencepost on its own. Someone had to do something to put it there. Pretty much every major thing happening in the world today is like that turtle. It was caused by the actions of someone or something. It is crucial for us to understand these phenomena and causes, as to not repeat the mistakes of the past.

While this contextual philosophy of mine was garnered from a very macro perspective, I see it being highly applicable to the work I do on a micro level every day. We need to learn from the past to improve for the future. We need to build upon the successes we've had, avoid making the mistakes again we've made before, and work to continuously improve to better serve our students.

I don't think I wasted my undergraduate degree coming into student affairs. I think it has made me a better professional.