My Life on the Margins: How I Wrote Myself In
This post is a personal story. It is purely my experience but I think it has some poignant lessons for others, so I’ve been thinking lately about how best to write on it.
This post is a personal story. It is purely my experience but I think it has some poignant lessons for others, so I’ve been thinking lately about how best to write on it.
Very thorough and helpful list here!
I think I'll have to consider this in the future!
Life is short, build stuff that matters.
Check out my Instagram for photos of cool motivational posters from startupvitamins.com.
So I just wrote a paper for class on geek girls and STEM careers, which addressed the perceptions of geeks in popular culture as well as the perception of scientists, engineers, etc., all together creating a deterrent for women to get into these fields of work. It was awesome to explore this topic since it all coalesces to create an ill-structured problem for colleges and universities since more and more women are graduating college (more than men these days) but still more men are graduating with STEM related majors. I sought to figure out why women may not persist and what we can do it about on our campuses.
So the stereotypes of nerds, dorks, dweebs, and geeks are well known; awkward, pale, skinny, poindexters who are lonely and uncool. This perception is compounded by the idea of scientists who work in lab alone somewhere working on arbitrary tasks with no lives and are also most often portrayed as male. A big part of my paper focused on an awareness of these false stereotypes and why they persist. A big issue in the geek spheres is the contention over popular shows like Big Bang Theory, which is a mockery of nerds but at least puts characters in the limelight on network television. I'd far prefer people watch things like the new movie Zero Charisma. It is a far better look at the current nerd culture, and laughs with us rather than at us.
With the media influencing perceptions as well as not being in positive learning environments with proper support and role models, women typically don't persist in STEM. What we can do in college student affairs is encourage living-learning communities for these geek girls looking to get into the great work of STEM fields. It is important and crucial work in these fields and we need every able body at the table solving the problems of the day. Living-Learning communities have been proven to be an excellent tool to help women persist in this challenging landscape.
The image above is from an event we had this past year at Rutgers, Geek Week, which had a "Nerd Girl Panel" which hopefully inspired some attendees to either keep on their studies despite the difficulties or perhaps be an ally to someone who is working against the cultural grain. I hope we can keep giving folks a sense of belonging this upcoming year with the third year of Geek Week.
"It is better to fail at your own life than succeed at someone else's." - Andre Gide
Happiness is the only true measure of personal success. Making other people happy is the highest expression of success, but it's almost impossible to make others happy if you're not happy yourself.
via Inc.com (9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier)
I have to post about CiSA 2013 yet again. It was an amazing experience and I want to share some of the great content from the event.
I know Ashley Nickelsen (@a_nickelsen) from both Rutgers and University of Delaware. She came to speak at CiSA 2013 on her topic of "The Everyday Assessment Challenge" of which she also wrote about for the recent fall edition of the MACUHO Magazine. The link is below and I encourage you to check it out! She has a great perspective on assessment; why it matters, and how to make it more accessible. It's awesome and thanks again to Ashley for sharing her perspective for everyone at CiSA 2013.
http://issuu.com/magazine.macuho/docs/newmacuho/30
Go do great things, everybody!
On this past Sunday, I put on an event called the 2013 Careers in Student Affairs (Un)Conference [CiSA for short] here at Rutgers University. I had been planning it for the entire calendar year amidst all the other things I’ve been up to so it was amazing to have it finally have it happen.
The journey to the actual fruition of this event has been an interesting one, with my original feelings on it all being very negative, since it was not what I had thought I’d be doing with my year. It just fell into my lap since no one else wanted to take it on. Although it was hard to swallow at first, it came to be something I could be excited about once I made it my own.
Making it my own took some time to plan out, with many details that had to come about from scratch, and it was hard since I am not a particularly detail-oriented. It was a very educational experience in making a large-scale event happening and fulfilling the experience it is you have envisioned. I know it will be something I can talk about in the gauntlet of interviews I have coming up about all the challenges and successes I went through.
My biggest takeaway that I feel like I can talk about now is getting over this paralysis I was getting into planning the event. I was so concerned with the event being perfect and how many people were going to come but after some pep talks and inspirational podcasts, I was excited to just get it out into the world to help people rather than be just an idea in my head. Also, when you think about it, it doesn’t matter how many people come since the people that came got something from it and that’s the most important thing.
I am very glad to have had this special experience and to have met so many awesome student affairs people in the process. Stay tuned for CiSA 2014!

In an attempt to blog more regularly, I'm going to pour out some of my brain juices on a fun connection I talk about often and has even been mentioned on the episode I did for the Life/Work Balances Podcast earlier this year (check it out here). The idea is using Spider-Man as a foil for these discussions about how to find a more perfect balance in our lives.
Spider-Man is one of favorite superheroes for this reason, he always has to struggle with being Peter Parker and his job of being your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. He has to go to class, see his Aunt May, try to date Mary Jane (or Gwen Stacy), make sure to get some photos into J. Jonah Jameson, and just take care of himself. His workload is comparable to some of ours as student affairs people, so the juxtaposition gels.
Where I feel I can connect with the Spectacular Spidey is that he comes to a better balance when he doesn't put up a wall between his personal and "professional" lives. When he tells the people he cares about that he's this amazing hero, the walls come down and it is easier to live his life when he is authentic. The people in his life can help him and be there when he needs it.
I feel as though you can't ever really block off what's going on in your life from your work. They should blend together so that you are always genuinely you in everything that you do. Your passions should be on display and your colleagues able to know the true you since they see you all the time. This will lead to better work, I feel, since this schism would go away that you feel like you always have to have a mask on with as much as our work overtakes our lives. I say we flip it the other way around; bring your interests, passions, and transparent self into the work we do for students. It will be a refreshing change of pace.
I learn lessons and make connections from my geeky passions often, and I joke that I take my entertainment very seriously so I hope this was helpful to you all out there. So take this in, reflect, and go out being the most ultimate you that you were born to be!