Book Review: "Give and Take"

"... when concern for others is coupled with a healthy dose of concern for the self, givers are less prone to burning out and getting burned—and they’re better positioned to flourish."

As a part of my professional development plan for 2017, I decided to finally read Give and Take by Adam Grant. I've been recommended this book several times by several different people so I figured it'd be good to get around to actually reading it. I'm so glad I did. I really enjoyed this book. I felt like it was speaking to me at just the right moment as I work to move up and grow in a very different work environment. There is so much good stuff in this book so the short version of this review is me telling you to go out there and get this book now. Here's the long version:

Through a series of interview, stories, and studies, Grant explores the idea that being a "giver" is the best way for someone to get ahead versus the popular notion that we all need to be ruthless "takers". Across all different industries, this theory holds to be true, and Grant gives objective evidence to back it up, much from his own experience as well as that of others. He also gives helpful advice on how to overcome common hurdles for givers, like negotiating, being assertive, and avoiding burnout.

"This is what I find most magnetic about successful givers: they get to the top without cutting others down, finding ways of expanding the pie that benefit themselves and the people around them. Whereas success is zero-sum in a group of takers, in groups of givers, it may be true that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts."

In a world where we're experiencing vast complex hardships, fear, and our social capital is at an all time low, I feel like this book is something we all need to read now more than ever. We can make a better world for all if we work together, trust one another, and build bridges, not walls.

"When people assume that others aren’t givers, they act and speak in ways that discourage others from giving, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"Givers reject the notion that interdependence is weak. Givers are more likely to see interdependence as a source of strength, a way to harness the skills of multiple people for a greater good."

I hope you read this book and integrate more giving into your life in however you see fit.

Thanks for stopping by!

Making Time for What You Want to Make Time For

The title of this post is something I say to people often. It can apply to anything (and anyone) and speaks to what we value and what we make space for in our lives. Granted, there is always more that we can do with our time, but often, I find that people suffer from inertia coming from what they've always done or whatever is easiest. Time is a finite resource. When we "save" it, it isn't going into some bank to use later, we have to make the most of the time that is given to us.

An example of this that often frustrates me is people making time for each other. Whether it is friends, colleagues, or family, we have to deliberately make time for whatever we want to make time for, even when that might not be the path of least resistance. We always give each other the pleasantries of wanting to meet up and do something or talk more, but we often don't. After the long days of our busy lives, we end up procrastinating about these sort of things. Perhaps those are efforts that are best left undone, maybe they don't deserve our time, but a lot of them might warrant our attention and we have to push through the inertia to actually make it happen. If we don't then the decision about it will probably be made for us by the people and tasks we're neglecting.

We can do more and be better by spending purposeful energy thinking about what specifically we want to make time for and actually making that time. Schedule time to talk with that person you want to talk to, make a to-do list about that project you want to get done, and figure out what in your life deserves your attention.

Inertia is the enemy of productivity and the enabler of complacency. We can do more and be better to each other by being aware of it and actively working against it. We have to make time for what we want to make time for. Only then will we feel empowered to make positive change for ourselves and each other.

Thanks for stopping by!

Here is Why Gaming is Great for Socializing

A lot of gamers would describe themselves as introverted. Some people think that being introverted means that you don’t enjoy company or that you don’t want to have any friends because you prefer to spend time on your own, but that isn’t necessarily the case. The difference between introverts and extroverts is actually just that introverts also need their alone time to relax and to recharge, while extroverts relax better in the company of others. When socializing is exhausting, it’s sometimes hard to force yourself to get out and meet people – but luckily, gaming is a hobby that’s much more sociable than a lot of people think. Here’s why…

Image source

 

Gaming can encourage socializing. Researchers have found that players of multiplayer online games were encouraged to socialize with each other thanks to their gaming hobby – gaming didn’t take away from socializing but rather it was something that was done simultaneously as people chatted online at the same time. If you’re a gamer, chances are you’re pretty clued in about what conventions are coming up, about anything from Star Wars to anime. Not only are conventions fun and informative but they’re also an opportunity for people to socialize, to be creative – generally, to be their best selves and to share that with other people who understand.

 

You can find romance online. Meeting potential partners through apps and on dating sites is how many people do dating these days. Going up to people in bars and clubs isn’t really the done thing as much, meaning that people relying on old methods to meet boyfriends and girlfriends may be missing out. But if you’re used to communicating via screen, you’re much more likely to be able to strike up a good conversation on Tinder or through another app, meaning that you’re more likely to form a solid, long-lasting relationship. It’s also been discovered that a number of people have found love through MMORGs – what you choose to do with your character is often indicative of what you’re like in ‘real life’, meaning that the people you’re playing with are seeing the ‘real you’ even if you’re hidden behind an avatar.

Image source

 

There are plenty of games that are designed to bring people closer together. This summer, Pokémon Go encouraged people to leave their computers behind and take their phones outside, and friendships were formed as people hunted for Pikachu and shared Pokémon Go tricks in their local parks. Minecraft is also a common hobby and has captured a generation of children. It’s something that a lot of elementary school boys in particular enjoy that builds friendships between them, and it’s also a game that greatly benefits kids with autism as it’s something that they find a lot easier to understand than other forms of social interaction.

 

Sharing common interests brings people closer together. A lot of friendships are built through online communities. Some might argue that it’s easy to misrepresent yourself online or to build yourself up as someone you aren’t, and although that’s true, you can also build sincere and long-lasting friendships and relationships after you meet online because you game together or you’re a fan of the same band or TV show. Gaming isn’t just a way to socialize – it’s a way to build relationships with like-minded people who you might not otherwise have met.

cosplay-1690846_960_720.jpg

Image source

Building Fails: Common Problems in Modern Office Buildings

When we think about modern businesses, we often think about a bunch of people crammed in an office. To be fair, that statement could have been made at any point in the past three decades and it would have rung true. And, to be fair (again), modern offices certainly aren’t as dreary as they used to be. But there are now more people than ever working away each day in an office, sitting down for over eight hours for at least five days a week.

Pixabay

The problem here is that many modern offices suffer from a few building defects. Thankfully, they’re often things that can be remedied. And if these problems do affect your workplace, you should look into them as soon as you can. They affect the health and productivity of your employees, so get to it!

 

Indoor air quality

The air quality of your average interior isn’t great. Even modern homes that look clean are often filled with dusty, germ-infested air. Sturdy ventilation systems don’t seem to be as prominent in modern buildings as they once were. In offices, however, things are often much worse.

If you want your workers spending most of their week in the office, then it’s only fair that you get the air quality under control. You have to make sure the ventilation is working correctly, and that the air ducts are free from dust clogs. Any chemicals used in the building process, as well as throughout your tenure, will affect the air quality. Consider talking to the building owner, and perhaps look into getting an air filtration system.

Wikimedia

 

The lifts

Problems with lifts (or elevators) seem to be getting more and more common all the time. It seems strange, given that our technology here should have evolved. But lifts installed in the past decade or so seem to be more prone to error than the ones that have been around for a long time.

I’m not someone who feels that comfortable in lifts at the best of times. But if it breaks down, or is running slowly? Then that will cause immense stress. It will also lose you time, which will drastically cut productivity. Getting these things fixed often take way too long. But this shouldn’t be the case, nor does it need to be the case. Make sure you look up the best lift maintenance service you can get.

 

Over-illumination

Over-illumination isn’t something you may have heard of before, but you probably already know what I’m talking about. Over-illumination is such a prominent problem that it has its own Wikipedia article! An overabundance of artificial light is a problem in department stores, gyms, and - of course - offices.

Wikipedia

There’s an over-reliance on fluorescent lighting in offices. It zaps away so much energy - and I’m not just talking about electrical energy. Worker energy is also affected. There are certain things you can do to maximize the light that does come in. But, if it’s up to you, you should look into adding windows and skylights. They’re not quick, easy, or cheap solutions, I’ll grant you that. But when you consider the positive effects of increased natural light? Whatever price you pay could end up being a bargain. You may also want to explore drop ceilings as a potential solution depending on the space.

 

These are just a few examples of how you can improve your office space. Being intentional and thinking about all the details of your office and how they can better support your team is important. It impacts employee productivity and retention, two crucial parts of a successful company culture. Think about the return on these investments and you should be able to get buy-in to create a physical space for your team that works for them as hard as they work for you!

Five Things I Learned From My Mom

In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I would write about my own mother, who I owe so much of who I am today and my success to. I don't write about her often (or at all really) but that just was probably because I didn't know how. Now, with this special day as an appropriate context, let me tell you a little bit about her.

Humility

I am humble, almost to a fault sometimes. But I would rather be someone who lets his work speak for him than someone who is just the loudest person in the room without much basis for their outspoken confidence. I've grown a lot with balancing confidence with humility, but I know I got my humility from my mom, who is easily flattered like me, and doesn't do anything for the attention or acclaim. She works hard and does right by her kids and family. Which leads me to my next point...

Hard Work

My mom worked hard to support me and my brother for a while after it became just the three of us. She has worked hard all of her life, getting by and allowing for her children to have food, a safe place to call home, and thrive as adults. I think a lot of success comes down to grit and perseverance. A lot of people will give up when the going gets tough or just take the easy path, so a lot of success (I will concede that there is certainly a lot more to it if you want to dig really deep) boils down to just who is left working hard each day. You have to keep going and keep the goals you have in mind to inspire you. I know I have a pretty awesome example of a hard working parent to live up to whenever I have children of my own.

Empathy

Something else I know I got from my mom is her caring spirit. She's a hugger, and a generally loving, empathetic person. I am the same way (except for the hugging, I tend to wait for someone to give me a cue they want a hug first) and I know I learned it from my mom. She loves me and my brother a lot and tells us often, so I am comfortable with expressing my feelings for others and genuinely care for people. Whether that is trying to do right by my students or wishing the best for friends, past and present, I just want people I care about to be happy. I always appreciate how open and welcoming my mom is.

Confidence

Due a lot to my mom's support, I eventually built up my confidence after growing up being a shy kid for most of my life. She has always had my back as I start my life and go in whatever direction I think is best, so I know even if things don't work out, she is there to help me. Even as adult life continues to provide me with unique new challenges, my mom helps support me through all of it, which gives me exponentially growing confidence to face the next new hurdle. I appreciate her love and support always, and I know it will continue as I keep facing new adventures in my life.

Patience

Raising two boys definitely teaches patience (I would assume). My mom was pretty patient with us, humoring us whenever we needed it and also not giving into all of our demands. We learned that sometimes good things come to those who wait. We learned that you can't get everything you want right away. We never had a lot growing up, but we had enough, and that was fine. I have always been a patient person, and I'm sure learning to wait from my mom as I grew up had a lot to do with that. It's important to not always be anticipating the next thing. We should be still, and appreciate what we have, and be willing to wait for whatever is next to come when it is supposed to.

Let your mother know that you appreciate her and how she has impacted your life!

Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

What I Learned From Living in Maine

My time living in my home state of Maine for the first time is coming to an end. I don't know if I will ever live here again, but I will certainly visit often and have appreciated being able to explore this naturally beautiful state. I've learned a few things from being here for two years, and I wanted to reflect on this time here on the blog.

My Appreciation for Craft Beer

Maine has an awesome craft beer scene. There are breweries of all sizes and styles, from Allagash, to Shipyard, Sea Dog, Black Bear, Geaghan's, Baxter's, and my personal favorite, Orono Brewing Company. This community is a fun, passionate one full of unique flavors and artistry in each beer. Going to local breweries helps support small businesses, but it also allows for connections based on a share interest with other people or it's especially great when you can talk with the people who made the beer you're enjoying. I look forward to continuing to support the breweries I love, and discovering new ones in Maryland and wherever else I go to visit.

The Value of Beautiful, Natural Spaces

Most of Maine is covered in trees, that is a fact. The state (which is larger than most people think) is sparsely populated with small towns nestled in these woods, and Maine also has a beautiful coastline. My partner and I especially enjoy the Bar Harbor area which is a popular tourist location that neighbors the very awesome Acadia National Park. There is an abundance of naturally beautiful spaces in Maine, with plenty of great trails to walk and mountains to climb. It is important to preserve areas like this for people to enjoy. It's good for communities in so many different ways (jobs, recreation, and the environment just to name a few major ones) and I look forward to finding spaces to explore in Maryland.

The Importance of Family

My mom and all of my extended family lives in Maine (my brother still lives in Delaware, where both of us grew up) so it has been nice to see my family up here more often than I ever had before. It is really great for me to be able to spend quality time with my mom as our relationship shifts into a new phase with me no longer being a student and "adulting" full-time with my partner. It is a bummer that I will be moving away and not able to spend as much time with everyone, but I know the values that I have developed and the importance I have put on my family will persist into the future. I'll come up to visit as often as I can, and it will be a priority more then it has in the past, when I would go too long between visits. Our families can be frustrating sometimes, but they also (hopefully) love us unconditionally. They will always be supportive and excited for what is happening in our lives, so it is important to make time for them when we can. I look forward to doing my best to continue to cultivate my relationships with my family, especially my brother and mother, since it was just the three of us for a long time and I don't want us to drift apart.

I've appreciated my time in Maine, but I am looking forward to getting my first apartment, living with my fiance, and being close to two big cities as well as our friends. Stay tuned for more thoughts as I go on my next adventure!

Thanks for stopping by!